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PEORIA, Ill. — Each waiting behind a corner to frighten the other the moment either of them rounds it, aging goth couple... Continue reading this gem The post Aging Goth Couple Barely Scare Each Other Anymore appeared first on HARDTIMES.
There’s been something on my mind, and I’m tired of keeping it in. It’s time we talked about how few members of... Continue reading this gem The post It’s Time We Talked About How Few Members of the Zombies Have Died and Come Back appeared first on HARDTIMES.
How much is it okay to confide in your family when it comes to your relationship?Part of being an adult is running to your parents when you have any type of trouble in life, to get some experienced and trustworthy advice from them. At least, I do that quite a lot. From fixing my sink to choosing a new job, I ask for their opinion on a lot of the details in my life. That said, I can't help but wonder: can you share too much with your parents? This couple is having trouble because the husband keeps venting to his mom whenever he gets in an argument with his wife. As a result, the mother in question continuously makes snarky remarks at the wife, hinting that she knows exactly what is going on behind closed doors. When the wife comes forward and tries to explain to her husband that the situation is slowly getting out of hand and that he shouldn't confide in his mother about marriage, he gets upset and accuses her of being too controlling.
Is it too soon in the week to laugh at everything going wrong so far?What a week it has been, right? What? That's only Tuesday? Well, we all know what I'm going to be doing if I want to make it out of this week alive. And yes, that's drinking gallons of coffee. I always try to be as mindful as possible with caffeine because, between the coffees, teas, and matchas, I'm on my limit. And let's add to that combo that I'm usually a pretty energetic and anxious gal. So that much stimulation won't bring out the best in me. But listen, this week, I don't care if I end up turning into a brown coffee monster because I need my coffee. Besides, coffee gets me going, you know? It motivates me to get my work done because I see it as a little break or reward. Let me give you an example. Right at this moment, I'm writing this story, right? Well, I need some coffee because I haven't had one yet. But I need to get this done, so as soon as I finish, I'll take a quick walk to my closest coffee shop and get my fave. Isn't that just the best? That little reward… I'm drooling just thinking about it. Anywho, you're not ready for the memes I got you today…
While I understand why teachers participating in a volunteer event for the school can incentivize kids and their families to attend, I also understand why teachers would find this particular event to be degrading. If you were a certain age or in a certain socioeconomic class as a child, you were told again and again that if you didn't go to college, you'd end up flipping burgers. If you were a kid post-2008, it's more likely that you were told that if you didn't major in the "right thing," you were going to end up flipping burgers. If you're a kid in 2026, you might be told that going to college isn't necessary, because people who got the "right" majors in STEM are still struggling to get any jobs, let alone a job in their field. While it can be cruel and classist to scare your child into doing something to keep them from becoming a fast-food worker, everyone who has worked in fast food knows it isn't a sustainable career. You work so hard, hurt your body from being on your feet all day, and you get paid next to nothing. Some jobs require you to wear down your body, like trades, but they pay much more and often have unions that protect workers. If you work at McDonald's, the chanc…
Is it really so hard to commit to learning the most basic emotional regulation skills? Although all of us have suffered the presence of a Karen at some point, not everybody is so unlucky as to have grown up with one. Witnessing a Karen on the rampage in the wild, cutting an underpaid service employee down to size, or even being the unlucky worker on the receiving end of that behavior is not in the same league as having a mom or dad with Karen tendencies. That is nearly 24 hours a day of exposure to somebody liable to go on an unstoppable rant at any minute.Miserable as it is to think about it, a big proportion of those unreasonable people who haunt hospitality and retail establishments will have kids, and those kids are likely to be in a front-row seat to witness all of their crazy behavior. If all the stories we hear of dysfunctional families are anything to go by, being related to a Karen is a common affliction. If you get easily angered by small annoyances, you might think that it would be better to think twice about whether reproducing is the right decision for you. The stress of having kids may only increase the chances of an embarrassing outburst of Karen behavior in public.…
HIDDEN HILLS, CA—Muttering “Oh shit” as she realized her mistake, media personality Kylie Jenner was reportedly panicking Monday after accidentally washing the $50 million Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra on a regular cycle. “I was probably supposed to use the delicate setting, but now the lid’s locked, so what can I do?” said Jenner, who cursed […] The post Panicked Kylie Jenner Accidentally Washes $50 Million Fantasy Bra On Regular Cycle appeared first on The Onion.
LANSING, MI—Urging the public to use the most reliable methods available to submit their vote, election officials across the country warned Monday that a ballot tied to stray cat would likely not arrive in time. “Unfortunately, finding a stray tabby under a car and gently tying your ballot to its tail with a ribbon almost […] The post Election Officials Warn That Ballots Tied To Stray Cat Unlikely To Arrive In Time appeared first on The Onion.
Two talented sea otters at the Oregon Zoo playfully slam-dunked miniature pumpkins through their hoop like basketballs. subscribe to the Laughing Squid Newsletter The post Playful Oregon Zoo Sea Otters Dunk Mini-Pumpkins Like Basketballs was originally published on Laughing Squid.
In a post on social media, a mother shared how an offer of free swimming lessons they extended to her daughter's friend fell through because of a pool closure, and the girl's parents demanded replacements for the free lessons at her expense. Then cutting off all contact and effectively ending the girls' friendship when she refused.Have you ever offered someone something for free and suddenly found yourself facing a demand for more?
Brooklyn artist Olivia Springberg created a giant Halloween sculpture of the "Pizza Rat" crawling across the side of a West Village townhouse. subscribe to the Laughing Squid Newsletter The post A Giant Memorial ‘Pizza Rat’ Crawls Across the Side of a West Village Townhouse for Halloween was originally published on Laughing Squid.
Why would you send your little kid to a painting-themed party with a very expensive dress? And what's even worse, why do you think you are entitled to get paid for the damages when you were the one who sent the girl dressed like that?People are weird, but parents are weirder. Being a new parent of a little kid must be really hard, and I don't doubt that at all. I may not have kids, but I'm sure it is hard to take care of them, especially when they are under 10 years old. It is a little kid who wants to know and discover everything but still knows nothing. That is definitely not an easy task to have to take care of. I will not be judging a parent for their parenting style. I'm no one to do so, and I don't think that is correct. Parents do what they can with what they have and what they know. Of course it's going to be hard, and it will involve a lot of mistakes along the way. This story is not really about parenting; it's about entitlement, and not a little kid being entitled, which is understandable and fixable. A full-grown adult entitlement that is cringy, pathetic, and concerning. You cannot make other people responsible for the mistakes you make, and that is something that som…
"Come Back to Firefox" is a clever ad for Firefox that reunites some of the most viral content creators of the 2000s and 2010s. subscribe to the Laughing Squid Newsletter The post ‘Come Back to Firefox’ Ad Reunites Some of the Most Viral YouTube Creators of the 2000s and 2010s was originally published on Laughing Squid.
When is it appropriate for an employee to owe a job that they no longer work at?Getting fired can be a traumatic experience at the best of times, and it is an unfortunate truth that some employers will make it more of a headache than it has any need to be. Depending on the circumstances of the termination and the trustworthiness of the company, how a former employee gets treated when they are out of a job can vary wildly.For most people, the immediate worry when they lose their job is their finances, and how they are going to afford all the expenses of living without a steady income. A lot of places will provide some kind of severance, but this is by no means something to survive on for a long time, nor is it always strings-free. Many employers view it as one last perk for being associated with them, even if it doesn't feel that way.It is pretty common among those who get fired to want to look forward, keep moving, and not dwell on their old job when they are in the process of finding other employment. There is no use in obsessing over a situation that can't be changed. However, there are circumstances where their former employer continues to haunt them. Although they may not be g…
Ultra-wealthy families are constructing luxury doomsday bunkers with amenities ranging from gyms and spas to meditation rooms and movie theaters, the boom coming amid the backdrop of growing geopolitical turmoil and the rise of AI. What do you think? The post Luxury Doomsday Bunkers Gain Popularity Among Ultra-Wealthy appeared first on The Onion.
As the race for control of Congress heats up, politicians on both sides of the aisle are making their case to the American people. The Onion highlights the most pivotal contests to watch in the 2026 election cycle. Abdul El-Sayed vs. Mike Rogers (Senate, Michigan): Republicans find out how much juice is left in the […] The post Midterm Races To Watch In 2026 appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Stressing the importance of circling back to how much a prospective employer has to lose if they don’t follow instructions, a group of career experts issued a recommendation Monday advising job candidates to send their interviewer a follow-up blackmail. “Applicants often worry they’ll come across as overly assertive or annoying if they reach out […] The post Career Experts Advise Job Applicants To Send Interviewer Follow-Up Blackmail appeared first on The Onion.
SAN DIEGO—The brief moment proving to be all that was necessary to completely eviscerate her self image, area woman Alena Reese reportedly had years of learning to love herself undone Monday by a single glimpse of her body in the self-checkout camera at Target. “Well, I guess that’s decades of attempting to maintain a positive […] The post Years Of Learning To Love Self Undone By Single Glimpse Of Body In Self-Checkout Camera appeared first on The Onion.
Time Out New York visited Sharon Hershkowitz, the joyful founder of Balloon Saloon, a historic Tribeca novelty shop that opened in 1981. subscribe to the Laughing Squid Newsletter The post A Joyful Tour Inside Balloon Saloon, A Historic Novelty Shop in Tribeca was originally published on Laughing Squid.
When you were a kid, you didn't question the fact that every decision you made had to go through your parents first. You couldn't just go into an Apple Store and buy yourself the iPhone 18. Not only did you not have that much cash on you to do that, but you also had to have your parents' permission and support to do so, which everyone can agree is very understandable.In time, however, you become more and more independent. You start working and earning your own money, and you get to decide what you want to do with it without having to run it by your parents first. You go out with friends, buy yourself lunch, or go shopping like a full-grown adult, and for your teenage self, that feels great. There are so many kids, however, who don't experience that independence. They have to deal with parents who demand to stay in control of every aspect of their lives, including their finances. They would go so far as to monitor their bank accounts, just like this father did to his 19-year-old daughter. She is practically an adult, yet she still needs to deal with a dad who takes money out of her account and asks her about every expense she makes. Every step of her financial journey, he's there, …
Guess you could say the ‘Rumours’ are true: Santa Monica might have found a foursome that can only be described as the... Continue reading this gem The post The Next Fleetwood Mac? These 4 Coked Out Roommates Are Also Sleeping With Each Other appeared first on HARDTIMES.
INDIANAPOLIS — An absolutely stellar beard observed by onlooker Alec Vinton outside his local library was unfortunately wasted on some white supremacist... Get the full story The post Amazing Beard Completely Wasted on White Supremacist appeared first on HARDTIMES.
A marketing professional with 8 years of experience gives an account of being fired publicly after challenging the CEO's expectations for organic search results. During 13 months at the company, they faced low pay, targets presented without the resourcing required to meet them, and repeated insults whenever they explained the limits of SEO. In the latest team meeting, the CEO demanded that organic search generate 65% of leads within a month, then accused the marketing professional of incompetence when they questioned the goal. They calmly defended their professional assessment and were fired on the spot. We'll take a look at their account of events and discuss the costs of leadership that assent to their anger to protect their ego. Everyone loves to talk about honesty, transparency, and open communication. That is, until that transparency becomes a criticism of them or their work.
As a further example of the moral laxitude that is inflicting our country, it is now realized that our famous ‘Deep State’ is not doing its job. Donald Trump has now entered his second Presidency and it seems that the Deep State he so heralded as working against him has not even opened an eye […]
Being a limo driver or a fancy car chauffeur for wealthy people and celebrities can definitely make you hear gossip. Famous people and celebrities are a big interest of mine; some people like to pretend they don't care about that, so I'm all for knowing about the life of the Kardashian family, reality shows, and celebrity weddings. I love all that. I find so much joy from hearing celebs gossip; the lifestyle of the rich and famous is actually a good way to take my mind off of things that worry me, to dissociate. That's why I like watching reality shows and reading about royal weddings. It's a dumb interest, but it surely helps to forget, at least for a while, about other things that are going on. This thread made me think about when people reveal stories about their interactions with famous people. They usually have two ways of going: they say they were super nice and they were able to take a picture with them, or they were incredibly mean and it completely changed the perception they had of them. These kinds of reactions always led me to think that it may be that the celebrity could be having a bad day, or wanting to avoid pictures, and by just denying whatever request the fan ha…
Skyscrapers may be glamorous, but they sure can be inconvenient as well.Tall buildings have become an unavoidable part of every major city skyline in the past century and a half, to the point that it is kind of weird to imagine urban life without them. It's hard to believe nowadays, but the building that is commonly considered to be the very first skyscraper was only 10 stories tall. Things have only gone upwards from there on out.Although they seem to be a fact of life at this point, it is important to remember that living or working that close to the clouds is a very recent development in human history. As a result, we don't exactly have all the creases ironed out yet. There are plenty of horror stories about very tall, unbelievably expensive buildings that simply haven't been designed that well. Think 432 Park Avenue in New York, where residents have sued due to severe defects like excessive swaying, structural failures, and an explosively loud garbage chute. Then there's the case of 20 Fenchurch Street, otherwise known as the Walkie-Talkie, in London, which had to be redesigned after it reflected sunlight so strongly that it damaged cars and caused fires.In short, there is usu…
Teachers are between a rock and a hard place when half their class is multiple grade levels behind and shows no interest in catching up. It's no secret that many kids are getting left behind in the education system. When I was a kid, America was all about not leaving kids behind in this exact setting (when I was a kid, I thought that policy was about parents not leaving their kids behind at the grocery store), but now that it's been 20 years since that initiative, it seems like it might have been a mistake. I understand why teachers and parents don't want a 16-year-old still in a 5th-grade classroom, even if, educationally, that's where he belongs. But many kids have been promoted when they shouldn't have been, and it has hurt them in the long run.Schools have a major incentive to pass students, even when they don't deserve to move on to the next grade. They don't want their school's graduation rate to be low. If only 60% of high school seniors graduate, the school looks bad and gets less state funding. Long gone are the days of the 19-year-old high school sophomores. If a kid doesn't complete the work required in 10th grade, he's passed along to 11th grade, just like his peers wh…
Everyone has a different relationship to cooking, and some of us are more comfortable with it than others. Not everyone has the same relationship to food that we do. There are as many relationships to food possible in the world as there are people on Earth. And you start to know that when you start to live with other people other than your family. Heck, even within your family, people can have very different relationships to food. This doesn't mean just what we like to eat and don't like to eat; it means the way that we prepare our food. Some people grew up having to prepare all of their meals themselves, or helping other family members prepare meals. When they become an adult, they have to provide for themselves, and they know how to cook. Even without a recipe, they can turn something out. But some people start that journey a little bit later in life. Learning how to cook can be an overwhelming experience, and it can feel like you're starting from scratch sometimes. It can feel like everybody else knows what to do except for you, and you're playing a game of catch-up. But it's worth learning, because it's a wonderful skill to have. And then when you live with somebody and want t…