Woman reflects on the fantasy of being ‘The one that got away’: ‘I honestly think it's ridiculous and almost impossible for someone to keep thinking about their ex forever’

We all cope with rejection in ridiculous waysMaybe this is a hot take, but not everything we believe needs to be true. If we hold a belief that reinforces our self-esteem and doesn't harm anyone, is it really that bad?I was talking about this the other day with a friend; she was telling me about this guy she dated who accused her of 'being afraid of love' when she left him, a thing that, according to my friend, wasn't true (otherwise I wouldn't be telling you this to make a point).And she was reflecting on the kind of things we tell ourselves when somebody rejects us, only to keep our self-esteem intact while we process what we just lost. Those things can range from 'she (or he) is afraid of love', 'she loves me, but she doesn't consciously know it', 'he is going through a lot right now, and that's why he didn't fall in love ', or 'I was the one who got away'.To me, as long as we're not trying to convince the other person of our narrative, or bothering them in any way or form, it's not that horrible to have a somewhat false belief or a petty outlook on some things.Most of the time, as the initial sting fades away, we can casually accept that the other person didn't want us that mu…

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