22-year-old woman cooks for friend and then takes home the groceries they both paid for: ‘She then proceeds to split every single item in half, regardless if, for my portion; she, for example, used 1 slice of cheese from the 14 bought’
Sometimes giving a gift becomes a way of establishing an obligation on another personI'm not saying this behavior is a conscious choice; in fact, I believe it mostly never is. But regardless of whether it's conscious or not, it still happens, and I think we should all start being wary of it.It's hard to reject a gift when we're in a vulnerable position, and we shouldn't have to, but if we notice the other person is giving us something while secretly counting on us to repay, then it's not a gift; it's a loan.We can accept whatever a person wants to give us, if we want it too, but if they then try to guilt trip us into doing something for them because of it, we are allowed to desist.I have an uncle who's very prone to this behavior, and it's a complex thing because I really do think he is an incredibly generous person; it's just that when he performs a generous act, he always subconsciously expects you to repay him by doing what he thinks is best for you.For example, when I was in my early twenties, he helped me buy a computer, and I later realized he secretly wished that I would finally stop studying the arts and become more of a 'serious' person, lol. It's not that he forced me to…