Woman doesn’t want husband’s former stepkids to join their first vacation: ‘I’m now seriously considering canceling the vacation altogether if my husband insists on changing the plan’

The real conflict isn't about the boys; it's about the disproportionate distribution of caregiving choresThe fact that the husband will be there too doesn't mean his labor is equal. I suppose it isn't equal when it's only their kids either, but at least there are fewer people to care for.The woman in this story anticipates her vacation experience becoming about remembering schedules, organizing meals, handling meltdowns, cleaning after the kids, and organizing herself around everyone's needs, while her husband gets to sit back, relax, and enjoy the view.The ex offering to pay for everything is completely beside the point. She could literally give her extra money if she wants, but the labor and the emotional exhaustion won't be worth it. What I do think is relevant is that she places a boundary only for the other two kids from the other woman's previous marriage. I think that is less about labor and more about who she really considers part of the family and who she doesn't, even subconsciously.What's happening to this woman is normal and understandable, but when we are trying to blend a big family, we have to know that situations like these might come up. I'm not saying she should …

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