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theonion.com · Oct 7

Time Travelers From Year 2376 Warn Of Future Where America Still Perfect

WASHINGTON—As they emerged from their smoldering, star-spangled chronochamber and urged the public to heed a consequential message, time travelers from the year 2376 attempted to warn the nation Saturday of a future in which the United States was still perfect. “Americans, we come to you on your semiquincentennial with a dire dispatch: You must keep up […] The post Time Travelers From Year 2376 Warn Of Future Where America Still Perfect appeared first on The Onion.

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